Monday, July 5, 2010

Dumb Arsed Drivers...

As i commute around the greater metropolitan manila area, I cannot help but be surprised and shake my head at the idiocy and the plain brazenness of some of the drivers of public utility vehicles. These are people who depend on their skill as drivers and they actually have the telemetry to drive as if they are racing against Mario Andreti or are participating in the Le Mans Race and are vying against other drivers for the Championship Gold Cup at the finish line (even if this is only actually going on in their own deluded psyche). All other privately driven cars are at the mercy of these deranged fools, and even if you do decide to try to intimidate them with your own driving skills then you either better have 1 or all of the following parameters covered: (a)Have really humongous cajones made of steel, (b) packing a personal defense weapon (anything that can be more intimidating than a lead pipe as this is what the offensive drivers will be packing), (c) have the calling card of some Police or Army official on your person or within your wallet (or even better than that, Having such a personage as a Drinking Buddy, Best Friend, Relative or someone who's willing to give you an odd favor now and then) , (d) have an even more offensive attitude then the driver you'll be taking on verbally, (e) have a posse of bruisers in your passenger seat or (f) Have St Peter's direct line on speed dial on your cellphone.

These are some of the things that you have to drum into your noggin every day once you decide to step into the drivers seat of your car and you have to go somewhere. Low gas? Pesky Traffic enforcers? Occasional Street Beggars? Persistent Street vendors selling useless crap at exorbitant prices? These are merely the icing on the cake. Once you pass thru their area of vegetation, then you're in the clear. But those friggin dumb-arsed drivers that ply the roads of manila as if they were doing bumper cars in the amusement park and not ferrying blank-faced passengers to their desired destinations (blank faced but are really silently making peace with their Creator of their respective religions at the same time preying to the aforementioned celestial being to smite the offensive driver before he causes them to leave the prime material plane for the spiritual world). But the best part of all is when these aformentiond Dumb-arsed drivers actually get caught by diligent Traffic enforcers have nothing else to do but scratch their heads in mute apology! Sometimes I'm thankful i don't own a gun.. Or do I? Hmmm...!

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